JH's College Basketball Playlist

Some would argue that music and college basketball go together like lamb and tuna fish. Unfortunately, this is America, buddy; lamb and tuna fish are disgusting together. But it doesn't take away from the importance of music and the game. Hell, this blog is even named after the sappiest, yet always dusty roomed song, in the history of music. Without further ado, here's the my playlist for the 2007 season of college basketball:

Turn Your Lights Down Low (Bob Marley): The only way you can enjoy the 1-25 Iona Gaels is the same as you would a fatty from the local watering hole-- dim lights, eyes closed, hoping for the best. After last season's trip to the NCAA tournament, the Gaels had America on the edge of their seats this season as they looked for their first win of the season. What's even more impressive (or depressing, depending on how morbid your sense of humor is), the Gaels only lost to two teams from power conferences-- Rutgers (by 14) and Maryland (by 31). Cal Tech snapped their 11 season winning streak before Iona turned one up in the win column.

Lightning Crashes (Live): Wichita State Shockers started out this season with victories at LSU and at Syracuse before their good fortune and seasons crashed in front of our eyes. Back to back to back to back losses to New Mexico, USC, Northern Iowa and Southern Illinois snapped the Shockers back to their reality of being a mid-major.

Stay Fly (Three 6 Mafia): The Florida Gators are back atop the rankings in college basketball-- and with good reason. I mean, they were the national champs last season and returned every single key member from that team. Joakim Noah may be a marginal NBA player in my eyes, but in the college game, that ugly mulatto is a baller. When you factor in the return of a nucleus as solid as the Gators' with the improvement of the other four starters (Horford, Green, Humphrey and Brewer), it should be no surprise that they're atop the polls again. It is arguably foolish to punish this team for losses, as they are probably the best team in the nation every week.

The Dance (Garth Brooks): Indiana? Nope. Notre Dame? Nope. Purdue? Nice try, but Gene Keady is gone. The team in the Hoosier State with the most certain March plans are the Butler Bulldogs, who have not only amassed an impressive 24-3 record, but beat all three of the aforementioned big boys head to head this season. Sure, their three losses have been to Indiana State, Illinois-Chicago and Wright State, but the Bulldogs stamped their dance card earlier this season by crowning themselves Preseason NIT champions.

We Fly High (Jim Jones): Josh Heytvelt and Theo Davis, welcome to the blog. The Birdman flyeth again, and this time he touched down in Spokane. Not only did the sharpshooting/rebounding force Heytvelt get himself suspended indefinitely, but he may have cost Gonzaga a berth in the NCAA tournament, as he is their primary offensive weapon. Kids, if there is a lesson to be learned from all of this, it is the following: If you're going to be caught 'riding dirty', make sure the redshirting scrub is willing to take the rap for you. Drugs in themsevles are stupid, but when you cause your teammates to suffer the consequences of your stupidity, then you're just a jackass.

Winter Warz (Raekwon): The Tennessee Volunteers have played a schedule that would make Jim Calhoun's brain turn to mush. Memo to Bruce Pearl-- sure, Butler was unexpected. But scheduling North Carolina, Memphis, Oklahoma State, Texas and Ohio State? In addition to your SEC East slate of Florida, Kentucky, and Georgia? You sir, have balls of brass. To go along with your tits of apricot.

Points of Authority (Linkin Park): Acie Law, Tywon Lawson, and Michael Conley Jr. highlight a season of point guards who will go unnoticed thanks to the spectacle that has become Greg Oden and Kevin Durant.

99 Problems (Jay-Z): UConn losing to George Mason seems to be the beginning of the end for the Huskies Nation. Personally, I think it's due to the bad karma from one of their cocky fans who I overheard saying "I've got a big fat stogie I'll enjoy up I-95 after we win this one" last March at the Ruby Tuesday outside of the Verizon Center. Hey, jackass! How's that taste right now? Honorable mention goes to LSU, who went from Final Four participant to "Wha happen?" team of the year.

Kryptonite (Three Doors Down): Virginia Tech. Do not mess with the chicago maroon and orange this March, or they will bang your sister. Well, maybe not that, but they will certainly give you a much tougher game than you'd ever want them to.

Smells Like Teen Spirit (Nirvana): How good are Kevin Durant and Greg Oden? They have made guys like Bill Simmons and Marcel Mutoni start paying attention to college basketball. According to Simmons, Durant has the potential to be Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Jesus, and Jenna Jameson rolled into one while Oden has the potential to be the youngest 34 year old to be one year removed from high school. The greatest part about their emergence is that Durant seems perfectly willing to stay another year in school, which means that some people are going to have to root for them to suck for TWO seasons instead of one.

(posted by JH)